


How Can I Live As Won When Half Of Me Is Gone?

by TaesKimono



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: I'm sorry for being inactive recently, M/M, Read the twt au first or be confused, They meet, idk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-01 07:43:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14515629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaesKimono/pseuds/TaesKimono
Summary: Part of a meanie twitter au that I'm doing on my 2nd twitter account @MeekeyMW. I don't think it'll make sense unless you read that 1st.





	1. Chapter 1

Wonwoo was a planner, he was a busy college student and relied on a carefully thought-out schedule to get him through the week. Therefore, unexpected events such as the recent happenings with all the dares, impromptu gatherings and forced social interactions weren’t appreciated. In addition to the list of things Wonwoo didn’t appreciate, were the last-minute proposals for silly things such as rapping on a track with a hit artist (after having given up on that dream) or modelling for cash at a top fashion studio to help his best friend.

The above were not welcome additions to his plans, his life has taken a definite turn and he didn’t think it was headed in the right direction at all.

 

Such events meant that he’d have to re-jig his entire schedule and most likely cancel or compromise on the things of utmost importance that were originally occupying that particular time slot of his busy day. Things of utmost importance such as watering the plants, studying, sleeping, thinking of his next meal as he ate his current one and walking his cat.

In other words, he wasn’t really that busy at all, but he could think of a million different ways to spend his Friday, an impromptu photoshoot at a top modelling studio was _not_ one of them.

 _At least I’ll be done with the dares_ , he told himself as he debated on which colour boxers to wear after his shower. His black hair was on the wet side of damp and hanging low over his eyes, water droplets beading at the tips of the strands and dripping down to his naked pale chest. His eyes crossed as he stared at them for a while, his mind busy questioning his life decisions, _was he really doing this? What was it for?_ If it’s for underwear or an adult magazine, then he was definitely not participating. _Is the other model a girl, is she popular, or is it a he?_ He realised he was walking into this completely blind, but he knew Minghao very well and Minghao knew him pretty well too. Surely, he could trust his friend to make it a smooth shoot for him. But did he really want to do this?

 

In the end he decided on black to symbolise how he felt inside, a storm of negative emotions melding together to form a formidable darkness. Wonwoo was just a _tiny_ bit scared, he didn’t have a good feeling about this at all. But he promised and that was a thing Wonwoo hated to break so he ran out of the apartment he shared with Seokmin, jogging all the way to the subway station instead of waiting for the bus. Just in case he chickened out and went back home, he didn’t trust himself with this at all. 

A few minutes of scrolling mindlessly through his twitter and he was already halfway through his train journey. The seats were all taken and the carriages were packed full of commuters, he considered himself lucky to have squeezed in the corner by the door, he wasn't completely surrounded by humans and he was grateful for that. He wouldn't want anyone to catch him staring unseeingly at his lock screen, especially since he was unaware that he was smiling constantly at the sultry-gazed, dark-haired model on his screen. They would clearly misunderstand, he didn't want people assuming _things_. 

As he slipped his phone back in his hoodie pocket, he looked around just to make sure no one saw that and that's when he spotted a recently vacated seat. He gulped and utilised rapid eye movements to deduce how many others were eyeing that same spot hungrily. A girl in a very short skirt and a middle-aged man in a suit seemed interested. The train jolted to a start and he stumbled slightly on his feet, he had longer legs and he was a bit closer, he could definitely get there first if he was quick enough. His throat felt dry, nerves high as his eyes narrowed on their target, he was full of tense energy and when the girl began to shuffle her feet around as if she was preparing to make a move, he snapped and sprinted to the seat.

When his ass was firmly parked in the seat he allowed himself to breathe, he made it and so he began to smile with pride at his achievement. He heard a few gasps from other commuters and the young school kid on his left looked up at him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, he scowled, and the kid quickly turned away. A swift scan of his surroundings told him he was very much being judged for the way he acted on this train journey, did he care? Not really, but he’d rather not be stared at like this, so he closed his eyes and listened to the loud rumbling of the train as it shot through the underground tunnels.

 

 

8:29am he stood in front of the automatic glass doors of the Silver Studios building. It was unsurprisingly made of silver steel and reinforced glass, its exterior cold and cruel in its elegance. The glass gleamed as though it’d just been meticulously polished, and the building itself was menacing in its height and covered a lot of ground. Wonwoo heard from Jun that it was a “top” modelling agency but this is beyond what he’d expected.

A sudden breeze blew his grey hood off his damp fringe and the strands poked uncomfortably at his eyes, he pushed it back and retrieved his phone from the front pocket of his hoodie when it vibrated for the fifth time in a matter of seconds.

 

**-Hyung**

**-Studio 4F it’s on the fourth floor**

**-Where are you???**

**-The other model is already getting ready**

**-Hurry up PLEASE**

 

The time read 8:41am and Wonwoo was yet to move inside the building. He took a deep breath, put his hood back on and tried to _not_ notice the disdainful glances that his outfit (of comfortable sweatpants and hoodie) was receiving, making his way to the elevators and squeezing in with people that made him look like a wet rat, their stares made him feel like one too and he was disgusted by them. Because seriously who had time to look like them so early in the morning? especially when it’s technically their day off and _especially_ when they don’t give a damn and would much rather be sleeping than modelling. This whole thing was absurd, and it hasn’t even started yet, at least Junhui and Minghao will see each other again, he hoped that’d work out. Or this day could easily go down in the biography of his life as one of the worst, he had a bad omen. Although, at this point it was just a feeling, he was hardly wrong about these things. So he approached the studio with heavy shoulders and an uneasy discomfort.

 

His entrance was marked with a loud sigh which wasn’t his own, 'hyung, what time do you call this?' It was Minghao, tinted glasses halfway down his nose and long mullet ruffled as if he’d been running his hands through it.

Wonwoo knew the younger only did that when he was stressed, and he felt a tiny bit bad knowing he was the cause of it, but he scoffed internally because he’d be causing him a lot more stress today. For now, Minghao looked slightly relieved and didn't seem interested in an explanation, 'Whatever, you’re here now at least.'

Then he paused, turned away and called a few unfamiliar names. Wonwoo followed his line of sight and a few equally unfamiliar faces joined them at the main entrance of the studio. 'Please get him ready as soon as possible. We’re running behind schedule.' Minghao ordered and in the next second he was gone.

Wonwoo was being whisked away by the unfamiliar people to an unfamiliar room as they began using unfamiliar tools and substances on his face and hair, then proceeded to dress him in unfamiliar clothing items with foreign sounding names and impractical fixtures. _Do my trousers really need to have 5 belts? Really? How am I meant to lead a normal human life with velvet gloves? Why would I need this ever?_ Wonwoo figured it was pretty easy to tell that he wasn’t interested in fashion at all.

He was an advocate for comfort over style and what most people considered “style” didn’t look that stylish in his eyes at all. By the time they were done “getting him ready” he was looking just as unfamiliar as his new surroundings, he could barely recognise himself in the mirror and as he stared at himself, he thought he could finally understand why Minghao suggested photographing him.

Since this field was all about the visuals, and his, were looking very strong in his reflection at the moment, he felt confident. Wonwoo would slay this shoot, then sweep it under the carpet and forget it ever happened, nothing to worry about.

 

Wonwoo wasn't even worried until he stood behind Minghao, watching, while the young photographer gave prompts and snapped photos of the other model. A tall male, from what Wonwoo could decipher, his hair was dark, and comma styled, his outfit was also dark but equally as strange as his own, his hands were gloveless though, and his poses were elegant and controlled. Wonwoo would’ve learnt a lot had he not been blind, he forgot to bring contacts and had to remove his glasses for the shoot, everything he saw from this distance was thanks to squinting, but he had to stop when his eyes stung, and his head ached.

One thing was for sure, this guy definitely wasn’t a rookie, that much was easy to tell since Minghao’s smile stretched on for miles, a sight Wonwoo hadn’t seen in a long while and his friend also showered the model with extensive praise, seemingly endless and also genuine. Definitely not a rookie, this guy was good. Minghao finally seemed to notice the Wonwoo sized statue lurking behind him and beamed at him in genuine surprise as he slowly lowered his camera.

'Hyung...' Minghao eyed him in awe, not so much him but his interesting outfit, 'your visuals are absolutely deadly, it’s no joke. I had no idea you could look so fierce and badass, this is gonna be good.' Wonwoo’s face winced, he felt like he was in pain.

Compliments were always difficult to react to, he opened his mouth, but his voice was overpowered by the sound of something very heavy falling to the ground, followed by general commotion as staff complained, he turned his head and squinted hard. It looked like a light box had been knocked over and a middle-aged lady appeared to be in the middle of scolding the culprit.

Minghao sighed, exasperation clear in the sound, 'Hang on, Won' Wonwoo nodded and squinted some more, watching as Minghao checked the light box, then bowed to the lady, possibly in apology then hit the tall guy, which Wonwoo now recognised as the non-rookie model. He used his palm to stifle a laugh, how was that person so professional on set yet this clumsy just a few moments later. He didn’t know the answer and had no time to find out as Minghao called him over, Wonwoo kept his gaze firmly on the ground, he didn’t want to trip over anything or damage any equipment on the way, unlike somebody.

His eyes focused on feet, he recognised Minghao’s loud sneakers, the ones he bought plain but doodled on every inch of, claiming the doodles gave it character. Then there was another pair of feet, Wonwoo didn’t recognise the shoes, he didn’t think he’d ever met anyone with such huge feet. Minghao spoke, Wonwoo looked straight at him, 'Wonwoo hyung, this is the model you’ll be working with. He’s very professional and I’m sure he’ll guide you well.'

Minghao paused and Wonwoo lifted his head to the model's face as Minghao spoke again, 'his name is Mingyu and he’s actually one of the top models in Korea. I hope you’ve heard of him.'

Something very strange happened to Wonwoo in that moment. First, his pupils dilated, his eyes widened at the sight before him, then his heart raced, and a fire began to burn within, blood boiling and fists clenched.

 _Kim Mingyu? The asshole?_ Wonwoo closed his eyes and willed himself to awake from this nightmare but when he opened his eyes again he was still in the studio, the sounds of people working hard in the background surrounded him, Minghao was nowhere to be seen but the asshole was still there. Standing still, as if he was feeling just as lost as Wonwoo, he was looking down at the ground and his hands were clasped tightly in front of him. Wonwoo could be wrong but the other seemed scared, or nervous at least.

 _Should I say something?_  They needed to get along if he wanted this to work, maybe he should offer peace. Wonwoo stood to his full height but Mingyu still had a few inches on him even with his head bowed, he cleared his throat, trying to hold back on the bitterness he felt, 'I’m Wonwoo. Hao’s friend. He asked me to help...'

There was no reply, Wonwoo was nervous, he unclenched and reclenched his sweaty palms into fists and began to speak again 'I really didn’t know it would be with you. I’m sorry?' He didn’t know why he apologised but then again, he rarely knew what came out of his mouth when he felt so flabbergasted. He couldn’t even blame Minghao, the innocent photographer didn’t know they hated each other's guts.

 

Mingyu lifted his head, a small smile on his tanned handsome face. Wonwoo tried to not be taken aback by his visuals, he was used to seeing it after all. Not by choice, of course, since it was all over his social media and lock screen. That was Seokmin's doing, Wonwoo's only crime was not changing it to something else, but he told himself it was because he didn't care.

So he saw that sweet smile every morning when he woke up to check the time and it made him smile back wider, not because he wanted to but because he felt compelled to. He _hated_ Mingyu, _really_ , but he couldn’t deny that he had a beautiful face and a beautiful smile, he smiled back, and they finally made eye contact. Wonwoo felt goosebumps erupt on his skin but he struggled to explain why, he was fully clothed in a warm studio, yet a shiver tingled up his spine and heat crept around his face as he looked back into Mingyu’s eyes.

They were deep, dark and demanding, he couldn’t look away, but he didn’t need to, because Mingyu did. The tall model mumbled some kind of greeting, bowed his head and scurried off, almost knocking the same light box over again but narrowly missing it. Wonwoo couldn’t help but chuckle, Mingyu seemed different in real life, maybe even a bit shy. One thing was for sure, he didn’t seem like the annoying, hostile asshole he’d met through Soonyoung’s phone.

Maybe this shoot wouldn’t be a disaster after all.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Red, purple and magenta lighting, but the set was dark despite the burst of colours. The sparse steel furnishings made for a cold feel, a rectangular table was in the centre of a room with the same shape, two chairs placed carelessly on either side, facing each other.

There wasn't much else, blank walls, concrete floors, it was bare and lifeless. There was a decently sized window which attempted to offset the gloom had it not been blocked with iron bars. At least the long horizontal mirror gave a sense of space, although it seemed like it might've been one of those that were a window on the outside. An involuntary shiver snaked down his spine, he felt like he was being watched.

He walked in all the way and sat on the chair at the back facing the mirror, his terrible eyesight worsened with the lack of proper lighting and he could barely make out what was right in front of him. The set felt strangely like an interrogation room, similar to one from movies he’d watched. Ones where dangerous criminals were detained, serial killers and mental psychopaths. He hoped he wouldn't come across either of those, the room just gave him that bone chilling feeling that someone incredibly terrible would be sat on the chair opposite him, maybe chained. Or it could potentially be him that was chained, he gulped nervously and the sounds of human activity surrounding him became clearer, he sighed.  _It's not real_

He was suddenly grateful that this was only a set and had a whole wall missing to his right, he would’ve felt like an insane trapped criminal otherwise. He guessed his crazy outfit made sense in this equally insane setting.

_Maybe Minghao was going for a psychopathic criminal aesthetic._

Wonwoo was confident with that, he definitely felt crazy when he woke up in the mornings and looked in the mirror. Hair in disarray from a night of constant tossing and turning, gunk inning the corners of his eyes and the lower part of his face stiff with dried spit from drooling the whole night. Crazy would definitely be the right word to describe his appearance in the early mornings, all he had to do was channel that feeling and he’d be able to portray the perfect image of a crazed individual.

While he stared blankly at the steel table, deep in thought. A shadow fell over the table, looming above him for a while before the owner sat down and Wonwoo squinted up lazily. Mingyu had finally made his appearance since running away earlier and the model still adamantly avoided eye contact, turning to the staff beyond the set as they went about doing various jobs, which Wonwoo had no knowledge of and no desire to learn about. Because while Mingyu observed them, Wonwoo was occupied in observing  _him_ , a sight which made the picture on his lockscreen seem dull in comparison.

 _Was it fair for a human to look like this?_  Maybe this is why he was considered a top model; his visuals were stunning, fitting every outfit and concept perfectly. Mingyu’s hair was slicked back, a few dewy strands falling over his golden forehead, his skin glowed, Wonwoo doubted it was just from the makeup. He moved back, the iridescent lighting changing in hue as it hit him from a different angle in the process. Wonwoo got an eyeful of Mingyu's sculpted side profile, the dim light throwing shadows over his features and accentuating his sharp sturdy jawline. It naturally contoured his facial structure, high cheekbones and smooth nose bridge, slightly parted pink lips and long lashes. He was so engrossed in his observations he hadn’t noticed the shoot beginning, hadn’t heard Minghao’s camera shutters constantly taking more and more photos. Hadn't taken note of how hard he was staring or how angry he seemed due to the constant slight squinting, the only thing on his mind was to never stop seeing the sight before him.  

 

He only noticed his strange behaviour when Mingyu turned to him, gaze fierce and expression dark, no hint of his earlier shyness, the contact between their eyes maintained.  _Was the shyness just a front he was putting up to avoid me?_   Or was this his professional side, the one that catered perfectly to the mood of the set, pushed everything aside to put on a spectacular show for the camera. Wonwoo tilted his head and stared, no longer squinting when his facial muscles complained of the strain, he could hardly see, yet his gaze remained fixed on their target. At some point Minghao entered the set to take more close ups and Wonwoo eventually blanked out, staring almost emotionlessly at the camera.

His head was void of anything worthwhile, he wasn’t even intentionally trying anymore so when the staff began praising him, he found it difficult to comprehend. Wonwoo smiled regardless and then he was whisked off for an outfit change, his individual shoot was next. Less makeup, all black outfit and barely anything done to his hair, he looked so  _normal_. He stared at the stylist with wide eyes when she announced she was done, he looked in the mirror then at her then asked, ‘Are you sure?’ She nodded with a smile and shooed him in the general direction of the shoot. The first thing he noticed was the change of set, it was much brighter now, more furnished, pastel and soft colours seemed to be the palette, contrasting with his all black clothing.

 

Wonwoo took a deep breath and then he faced the camera, it was his turn now. Minghao gave him prompts and pointers and he acted on them as best as he could, judging by the constant clicking of the camera shutters and Minghao’s praise he deduced he was doing well so far. He relaxed a bit despite feeling slightly uncomfortable with all the attention. He was aware that people were watching him, people including the tall blurry silhouette of his co-model. A professional that was probably cringing at his lack of experience, most likely having a million negative things to say about him, from the way he sat to the way he stared. But Wonwoo focused on the camera and ignored the world, he narrowed his eyes, cocked his chin to the side and bit his lip. Minghao’s camera clicked furiously and he thought he heard a silhouette gasp and stumble but he intentionally avoided that area. And although he could  _feel_  the many eyes watching him as he posed for the camera he couldn't see them, he had no way of knowing their thoughts or reading their expressions and that made it easier for him to disregard them.

 

A while later, Minghao lowered his camera and yelled ‘cut’ his voice reverberated through the mostly open space and it startled Wonwoo who’d been daydreaming as he often did. When he finally regained awareness of his environment, he sighed in relief, because it was all over now. He smiled and joined in from the sidelines with the clapping as everyone congratulated each other on another successful shoot. A few staff members came up to him with praises and handshakes, smiles and pats on the back, he thanked them as he thought of ways to distance himself from the crowd before he was made to stay. But it was too late because the very next second, the crowd parted and Minghao approached him, all wide smiles and wider arms. ‘Thank you so much Wonwoo, you did amazing today. Everyone’s saying you should prepare yourself for your impending fame.’ Wonwoo scrunched his nose, he didn’t want that and he doubted it’d happen anyway, but he appreciated the kind words regardless.

Wonwoo patted his friend's back and spoke with gratitude, ‘I’m done doing dares thanks to you and Dk is closer to getting you a new camera, this is good, but never again.’ Someone cleared their throat behind him and they parted from their hug.

‘Mingyu. Good job today.’ Minghao’s smile was still intact as he spoke and Wonwoo turned around to face the new comer, Mingyu looked different, his clothes, hair and aura seemed changed. Not like when they first came face to face, or when they sat across each other at the metal desk, not even like when he stared at him during his individual shoot. He had his hands in his pockets, a slouch in his back and his clothes seemed more like his own. Wonwoo kept a friendly demeanour even going as far as flashing a small smile, it was easier being nice when he could hardly see the other’s face, he could just imagine the face of someone less infuriating and it’d work perfectly.  _Who knew being this blind would come in handy?_

 

‘How about you two have a little chat, I’ll be right back.’ Minghao disappeared with his words and they were left facing each other in silence. Wonwoo gulped, internally debating on how to break it, he could hear some staff talking in the background as they packed equipment and cleared the sets, but that sound was distant, and his brain was hyper aware of the tall model before him that it chose to ignore his surroundings. Mingyu cleared his throat again and Wonwoo looked up, he assumed they were making eye contact, but he couldn’t tell from this distance, ‘was this your first shoot?’

 _Here goes, he’ll insult me now, pretend to give me pointers while he tells me how terrible I was at modelling today._  Wonwoo fought to not roll his eyes, just as he'd begun thinking that maybe Mingyu wasn’t as bad, maybe he wasn’t as much of an asshole as the one he texted through Soonyoung’s phone.

Wonwoo took a deep breath to calm his nerves then he nodded his head, clenching his jaw to stop himself from saying anything detrimental, he didn’t want to fight.

‘Well Uhm, well done.’

Wonwoo’s head snapped up, his face contorted in disbelief and shock at the model’s words and it seeped into his voice, ‘Wait! What?’

Mingyu’s body language told Wonwoo that he was taken aback by Wonwoo's reaction, but what did he expect? Enemies didn’t go around complimenting one another.

Mingyu's next words were sheepish and quieter than before, ‘I said well done.’ Wonwoo took a few steps closer, until Mingyu’s face came into focus and he seemed genuine, he didn’t feel like he was being lied to. ‘Why would you say that to me? You hate me.’ In Wonwoo’s mind he was stating facts, he had no negative intentions but Mingyu grimaced and turned away. ‘I don’t... hate you, I thought you were a bad guy messing with my best friend and I was wrong. I’m... sorry about that.’

 

‘O-kay’ he answered sceptically, this was strange,  _why was he being nice? What am I supposed to do now?_  He raked his brain for a more intelligent reply, but Mingyu spoke again,

 

‘You- You did really well for a first time... Everyone was surprised, you have a good... face, for modelling.’ Wonwoo snorted a laugh, momentarily forgetting he was with an enemy,

‘A "good  _face_  for modelling"? Is that the long, complicated way of saying I’m good looking?’ He tilted his head.

 Mingyu looked away and blinked furiously, he appeared to be flustered but Wonwoo didn’t understand.  _Why would he be flustered around me?_  ‘Minghao wouldn’t ask you to do this if you weren’t.’

 Wonwoo nodded slowly, true, then he voiced the thoughts that he’d had since first discovering who he’d be modelling with, ‘Very weird coincidence though. I never told Minghao that Soonyoung’s assho- I mean Soonyoung’s bestfriend was you.’

 

Mingyu chuckled and when Wonwoo focused on him, he saw him biting back a smile, ‘I stalk your twitter, I know you refer to me as "asshole". I kinda was one to be honest and I’m sorry.’

 

‘That’s creepy.’ Wonwoo was smiling despite his words, something about Mingyu’s smile compelled him to smile back, it couldn’t be helped.

 

‘Sorry...’ he was back to looking down again and nothing was making sense anymore, where did all the confidence from the shoot go? Why was he avoiding his eyes so much?

 

‘Don’t apologise, you’re making me feel bad...’ Wonwoo was in the middle of re-evaluating his entire opinion on this guy, no one could see him like this and  _still_  believe him to be an asshole. He was searching his limited internal social manual for a good way to continue his reply,  _what did people do in such situations?_

That's when he heard voices, they disrupted his thought process and the relative peaceful atmosphere, causing heads to turn, and everyone seemed interested in the unfolding drama.

Including  _him._

It didn't occur to him that normal people didn't walk away from conversations as if entranced, the way he dd. But that notion was lost on him as he inched closer to the main door and stood partially concealed behind a massive opaque screen which was used in one of the sets. He could hear a lot clearer from this closer distance, but his eyes were as useless as ever.

 

 

 

‘Don’t pretend to care, it doesn’t suit you at all’ the speaker huffed, ‘We should talk... I promise I didn’t know you’d be here.’ The other begged, ‘Why in the fucking world would I ever believe anything  _you_  say?’ the frustration was palpable in the first voice, matched with an equally palpable desperation from the second voice, ‘Minghao  _please_.’

Wonwoo’s back stiffened and his throat dried out, he swallowed and closed his eyes. His breathing grew shallow as he held his breath and he seriously considered leaving, but his feet remained rooted to the ground. It felt like he was committing a crime by listening in, it felt like a breach of their privacy, like he wasn’t meant to hear this.

However, the voices were unnecessarily loud, impossible to ignore as they grabbed everyone’s attention. It'd been a long while since he'd heard the voices together but it was incredibly nostalgic, he couldn’t see but he’d recognise those voices even if he really _was_  blind.


	3. Chapter 3

Jun was here, and from the sound of things he’d bumped into Hao, Wonwoo couldn’t decide whether this was a good or bad thing. It was just as he’d planned but now that it was happening, he was beginning to doubt himself. _Maybe Joshua was right, maybe I’m meddling too much_.

He swore apprehensively and Mingyu turned to him with a confused expression. ‘You know the other guy?’ Mingyu asked when the ex-boyfriends exited the studio, out of sight and out of hearing range.

Wonwoo sighed, then nodded his head, still staring at the door they disappeared through, ‘that was Minghao’s ex...’ he heard the tall model gasp beside him and he bit his lip debating on how much he should tell him.

‘They... they broke up 4 years ago but... they’re still in love, I really hope Hao gives him a second chance.’ his heart ached for his friends, they deserved to be happy and he just wished they’d take this chance to clear the air and be happy.

 

‘Wonwoo...’ Mingyu’s voice sounded far away even though he was right beside him, he turned to face him and almost stumbled back at the proximity, _when did they get this close?_

‘What?’ He blurted anxiously, _why was he feeling so on edge?_ He wiped his sweaty palms on his trousers as Mingyu stared directly at him, ‘If someone really _really_ liked you but they lied about something important, would you forgive them?’ 

_Is he asking for my opinion in general? Or is it specifically about Minghao and Junhui?_  he wanted to ask but then he thought of Daniel. That final text he received yesterday, the one he was yet to reply to. _Daniel_ , no. _That stranger_ lied to him about his name and god knows what else. He said I know him, _but can I trust that?_ He said he really likes me _, but can I believe that?_

He was so nice and sweet over text, like he genuinely cared and Wonwoo unknowingly fell for that, _but was it even real?_

More importantly, _would he forgive him?_

 

He slid down the opaque partition screen and Mingyu followed suit, their knees knocked together and their shoulders brushed as they sat side by side on the cold floor, Wonwoo sighed and roughly ruffled up his own hair, ‘I don’t know, I think I’d feel too betrayed...’ It was difficult to mend a broken trust, the entire principle of their dynamic was a web tangled with lies, _was there truth in any of it?_ Wonwoo closed his eyes and swallowed, ‘… I’d be too scared that I’ll never be able to trust the person again.’

 

He heard Mingyu’s breathing, felt the eyes on him, briefly wondered why he was having such a personal conversation with _him_ of all people, he frowned and Mingyu spoke up, ‘But doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance?’

Wonwoo rolled his eyes at the overused, cliché words.

Truth was, Wonwoo hated how one was expected to always forgive, how wrongdoers were pitied and consoled as if they’d fallen victim to some unforgiving force, all because it was the “first time”. He hated how easily they were trusted, treated as though they’d done nothing wrong and allowed to brush it all under the carpet. It wasn’t fair, but nothing was. In a fair world there’d be no emotions to influence decisions, no sense of humanity, no sympathy or compassion. In a fair world Wonwoo wouldn’t be human, he’d have a rock-hard body, steely nerves and a heart of concrete, he wouldn’t be influenced by feelings, he wouldn’t even _know_ what those were.

He randomly blurted out his inner thoughts, ‘Do you think robots give second chances?’ probably not, fact and logic would reign over everything in a world run by machines, cold and hard would be synonymous with how they’d handle all their affairs. Mingyu fought back a smile, he seemed really amused and Wonwoo caught the slight stretch of rosy lips, the way they lifted faintly at the corners. He reconsidered his next words, hated the people they reminded him of, but it felt like the right time for them to be used, so he said, ‘I’m 200% serious, I’m not tryna be funny.’

Mingyu’s face lost its cheeriness so quickly that it was almost comical, suddenly he was back to being flustered and uncertain and Wonwoo was back to wondering where the confident model vanished to, ‘why do you keep doing that?’ he tilted his head in question.

 

Mingyu avoided his gaze once again and focused on the ground, ‘doing… what?’ he stuttered and Wonwoo’s eyebrows furrowed in ultimate confusion, _why is he so shy?_ The model’s cheeks were flushed with colour, enough to be noticed. The constant finger wringing, and lip biting gave away the fact that he was feeling quite nervous. Wonwoo observed his companion silently, connected the way they interacted and the words they exchanged, analysed Mingyu’s behaviour towards him throughout the day.

He’d reached a conclusion, one that he found hard to believe, but a conclusion nonetheless. Wonwoo had a pretty good idea what such actions meant, actions spoke much louder than words and Mingyu’s body was doing a whole lot of talking right now.

Wonwoo felt strangely warm, slightly fuzzy and funny. _Does he like me?_

 

He smiled, sitting straighter, he accidentally bumped their shoulders together on purpose. Carefully, he watched how the model visibly blushed and proceeded to tuck his head lower, chin almost to chest, _cute_ , he thought. Then a strange ache replaced the warm feeling and thoughts of the boy that claimed to like him swamped his mind.

He sighed, ‘If the trust isn’t too broken then I’d probably give a second chance but if the lie is too big, I don’t think I could.’

Lying was a terrible habit and while he could understand that sometimes the circumstances called for a little white lie, he simply couldn’t fathom why a stranger would work so hard to conceal the truth. Why he’d lie about something as basic as his identity, especially when said stranger made it his mission to make Wonwoo feel special and warm multiple times a day. Be it the constant flirting or random texts or even just a thought in passing, it meant something to him, he felt like the other genuinely cared for him. Like he meant it when he said he loved him, the stranger made him happy, _very_ happy.

It was like a fairy tale, like falling asleep to a beautiful dream, that got prettier and closer to perfection every night. Until one morning came and he woke up to a hideous nightmare, the reality which remained, it overwhelmed all the good that preceded it.

Despite it having come crashing down on him like this, the fact that _he_ made Wonwoo feel some type of way was _fact_. It was the first time in a long time that he’d let his guards down, the first time ever that he allowed himself to feel, with no fear of judgement, no uncertainty of acceptance, no anxiety of rejection. He hadn’t realised how deep Dainel was nesting in his heart, until he made a permanent home in the centre. A lifelong tenant with _no_ plan of leaving, paying handsomely in the international currency of love. In a cruel twist of fate, the tenant turned out to be _fake_ , the payment method might've also been a fraud, but Wonwoo _still_ didn’t have the heart to evict him. 

_Still,_ what incentive did he have to give him the benefit of the doubt? _I don’t even know him, yet he makes me care so much._ Wonwoo finally understood what it meant to be choked up with emotion, he would’ve made himself cry too, if it weren’t for Mingyu talking to him before he continued his harsh thoughts,

‘Trust _can_ be rebuilt if both parties are willing to settle on something... Like Minghao and his ex.’

Wonwoo took a deep breath, his friends deserved a second chance. He hoped they’d settle like Mingyu said, find common ground and work through their differences to rekindle the flame they once had. But that was different, he didn’t know _how_ , but it was _different_. ‘It depends on the people involved, I guess.’

Mingyu wasn’t giving up, Wonwoo was too lost in thought to think anything of it, ‘What’s your opinion, Wonwoo? Would _you_ give a second chance?’

Wonwoo pulled his knees to his chest, long arms stretched out on top, he hummed in thought, ‘I don’t know. Do you think I should?’

Wonwoo turned to face him, they locked gazes,

‘I don’t know. Do you _have_ someone like that?’ Mingyu’s voice was hushed as he spoke, his entire demeanour subdued as if dazed. His eyes twinkled with a hazel tone, shinning with hope. _What was he hoping for?_

 

‘Yeah...’ Wonwoo breathed, then his eyes trailed down from the model’s hopeful eyes to his sharp jawline, gliding on the flawless golden skin, like sweet caramel and honey. Sliding past his prominent Adam’s apple and following the trail between his sharp collarbones and into his egg-blue dress shirt. _Did he have to leave the first buttons open?_ Wonwoo swallowed thickly, Mingyu’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down and Wonwoo forced his head straight, eyes trained on the blurry studio ahead.

He sighed, ‘I _do_ have someone like that, but... his whole existence might be a lie.’ _I don’t even know what he looks like, I have no reason to believe anything he’s ever told me. I don’t want “Daniel” to be a lie, I want to get his love, I want him to be real for me. I’m scared._

There was a spell of silence, then Mingyu cleared his throat and broke it,

‘Does he like you?’

Wonwoo frowned, ‘He says he does...’

‘Do you like him?’ Mingyu continued in a slightly breathy yet steady tone,

His heart suddenly got louder, beating wilder, wanting to be heard. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, tried to silence it but to no avail. Wonwoo _did_ like him but his mind was opposed to the idea. The logical, rational part of him wouldn’t yield, that part of him hated Daniel for lying, it didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Because although Wonwoo _did_ like him, it didn’t even matter now that Daniel’s very existence was questionable, he replied anyway, ‘Yes, I… do... like him, I mean. I like him.’ 

 

Mingyu exhaled, If Wonwoo didn’t know any better he’d think the model was sighing in relief, ‘Isn’t it worth a try then?’ His tone was lighter, when Wonwoo turned his head to the side he was met with Mingyu’s still hopeful eyes. He blinked and stared, then tilted his head and frowned when the model didn’t shy away from his gaze this time.

Wonwoo moved closer until he heard Mingyu’s breath hitch, until his senses filled with the scent of hair product and citrusy body spray, then he asked, ‘Why’re you asking me so much?’ Mingyu moved back, audibly gulping as Wonwoo moved even closer, ‘no reason. Just... curious.’

It wasn’t a trick of the light, or the misjudgement of a longing eye. Mingyu’s cheeks, ears and even neck were flushed pink. The colour deepening the more he edged closer, more visible and unmistakable as he scrutinised him.

Wonwoo shook his head internally, in absolute disbelief, he was sure it wasn’t his vivid imagination, this was _real_. Mingyu was blushing _because_ of him, _that couldn’t mean anything else right?_ He moved back slowly, dusted his pants as he stood up and refused to look when Mingyu copied his actions. He didn’t know what to think or what to do with this strange piece of information, so he cleared his throat and chose to run away until he figured something out.

Mingyu was cute, much better in person compared to the one he met through Soonyoung. But Wonwoo had Daniel and he was sure he liked him a whole lot, he shook his head slowly. _How did his love life go from non-existent to incredibly complicated in the space of a few days?_

 

‘I need to leave now. It was nice meeting you, properly.’ He kept his hands in his pockets and his eyes on his shoes as he spoke, he didn’t see Mingyu’s face, but he did hear the smile in his words as he said,

‘Same here, take care Wonwoo.’

Then, with a final smile of wonder, he left the younger standing there and went to the changing rooms. When he came out, Mingyu was gone, Wonwoo didn’t know what he was feeling, but it seemed like he might be a bit sad that the tall model was gone.

Strange, he hated him this morning and now he wanted to see him again. He shook his head and powered his phone back on, grimacing at all the unread texts and twitter notifications. Well, he had a long journey back home and nothing better to do, he opened up the most recent chat and began reading.

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

It was only 11am when he locked his phone and finally got out of bed, but he was already feeling too tired. His head pounded painfully as a result of his early awakening and his eyes stung as if he’d kept them open all night. Is this just my psychological laziness or do I actually need sleep? He lay flat on his bed, idly questioning.

 

If Wonwoo were to make a choice on which of the two he believed to be true, then it’d be the latter. However, he managed to force himself to stop thinking, and lock himself in the bathroom instead. He had no doubt he'd go back under his covers otherwise.

 

An hour or so later, he was feeling awake and refreshed in every sense. His headache was made a thing of the past with the help of painkillers. As for his stinging eyes, it turned out to be a direct result from his frequent contact wearing, coupled with the abandonment of his prescribed eye drops, effectively drying his eyes out and causing the pain. He raided his bathroom cupboards for the eyedrops, which were extremely difficult to locate, since he _did_ truly abandon them.

Rummaging through the ancient, unfamiliar contents at the back dusty corners, he finally found what he was looking for. Although the exterior was covered in dust and something sticky, the label indicated that it was three months away from expiration and the bottle itself remained intact, thus reassuring him that it was safe for use. He gave it a cautious shake and confirmed its contents, he really hated using it, but he lacked the luxury of choice. This was a necessity and with that thought in mind, he ripped the cap off, tipped his head back, pulled at the skin under his left eye, gritted his teeth, steeled himself _and_ squeezed.  

Wonwoo sighed in relief as the cooling liquid settled over his dark brown irises and he blinked a few times to clear his vision. Then he repeated the entire process with his right eye, grabbed his glasses and moved on to the kitchen with newfound energy.

 

 

 

An apple for breakfast felt like a feast after lying awake on his bed for the last 4 hours. Alternating between texting different people and scrolling through twitter, he spent a lot of time overthinking everything so by the time he concluded those conversations, all he wanted to do was hide completely under his covers and sleep forever. But he had places to be, promises to keep and people to see, so he dragged himself forcefully through the motions, losing his earlier newfound energy, since he wasn’t even sure why he agreed to go anymore.

 

After a 35-minute bus journey, Wonwoo finally made it. A quick time check indicated that he was actually early, and he began to walk inside the building with a few minutes left to spare.

“HYUNG!”, he looked up from his phone and smiled in the direction of the familiar voice, “Hey” he greeted with a smile as a beaming Chan wrapped him up in a big hug. The young excitable boy linked their arms together and began dragging him inside, all while explaining how dance workshops worked, telling Wonwoo he didn’t need to worry.

Then he went on to talk about dance in general, words drenched with an overload of pure passion, the younger was so engrossed that Wonwoo doubted the kid even remembered to breathe. He smiled, threw his arm around the shorter boy’s shoulders and listened to him speak as they made their way up the stairs to the third floor.

 

 

 

 

Some time and a lot of sweat later, his phone began to buzz incessantly, to the point where it was almost impossible to ignore. But he kept his eyes on the mirror and tried to keep his focus on the dance moves, he was staring hard at his reflection when his gaze clashed with Jun who threw him a worried glance. His friend abruptly stopped the lesson, announcing a short break and Wonwoo smiled gratefully at the other.

The first thing he did after calming his breathing was pick up his phone and frown as he read the messages.

“You ok?” a firm palm landed on his shoulder and he sighed, “It’s Dk…” The hand on his shoulder squeezed reassuringly and Wonwoo turned to look at his friend’s unexpectedly understanding expression.

“What?” he asked with narrowed eyes, Jun stepped back with a small smile, “Just… do what you think is right.”

“go away.” He mumbled before focusing his attention back on his current dilemma. At first, he wondered whether he should respond at all but after Jun’s stupid advice he began to think that might be too cruel.

 

Although Dk _did_ lie to him, it seemed _every_ one was doing it lately, lying that is, himself included. Generally, he believed that crimes deserved punishments, that nothing should be forgiven unless repentance, regret and remorse were received. However, in light of the coiled web of lies that he and his friends found themselves tangled in, he didn’t think punishments would be fair. Nor did he think they’d be effective in this situation since there was just too many variables. Maybe they should all forget it and move on from this mess, maybe they should work harder to be more truthful from now, so it doesn’t happen again.

Earlier when they had the first break, Soonyoung had come up to him and offered a cool water bottle with a warm smile. Wonwoo had forgiven him instantly, the dancer’s face lit up like literal sunshine, innocence and kindness radiating off him in palpable waves. There was just no way Wonwoo could stay mad after seeing that face, he even let the other hug him despite it being the first time they met in person. Which was strange for Wonwoo, but he felt like him and Soonyoung really may have been soulmates in a previous life, there was no other way to explain how they clicked so well.

The three of them including Jun had already discussed hanging out together again, Soonyoung smiled in excitement at Jun’s suggestion and Wonwoo didn’t even realise he’d agreed until it was no longer a suggestion being discussed but a plan that was fixed. So Wonwoo ended up somewhat unknowingly forgiving Soonyoung for keeping crucial truths from him, quite easily he felt. But it seemed he _him_ self was forgiven by Jun for deliberately putting him in a situation that he knew his friend would very much rather avoid, this forgiveness also came just as easily.

 

So, it’d only be fair for him to forgive Dk, Wonwoo nodded resolutely at finally reaching a conclusion that satisfied him. He sat cross-legged on the wooden floors after making a mental note to ask about the date and time of their meeting later, then he began typing away on his smartphone. While he waited for a reply, he watched the cheery Chinese boy throw his head back in laughter at Dino’s impersonation of him. Jun seemed a lot happier than expected, considering the circumstances with Minghao, so Wonwoo felt very relieved that his friend wasn’t doing too bad. His shoulders lost some tension and his mood felt lighter at seeing him dancing, laughing and clinging to random people. He seemed happy and knowing him, the “random people” were probably all friends of the social butterfly. Wonwoo smiled and got back to his text conversation with Dk, it was time to get back on good terms with _all_ his friends now.

 

“Break is over everyone, let’s get back to it.” Dino hollered over the crowd and the dancers all lined up before the big mirrors to go over the choreography again, this time with Dino as the lead. Wonwoo immediately locked his phone and joined them, he might not particularly enjoy dancing, but he was confident in his ability and he found it to be quite bearable, minus the physical aches and the acute fatigue. Besides, it felt nice to be surrounded by friends and a happy light atmosphere after all the negativity that’d struck his life recently, so he indulged himself in the positive vibes.

 

Time flowed, and it remained a pleasant experience until the time neared 5pm, the high energy slowly began draining away from the room. The stench of sweat intensified and the heavy breathing of the exhausted dancers was already fogging up the mirrors. His three dancer friends stood up at the front and proceeded to thank everyone for attending, Dino went on to inform them of the next meeting then Soonyoung concluded the workshop with a few words of encouragement. And while the rest clapped and cheered, Wonwoo’s head hung low as he lost himself in shock, he was having a hard time accepting the truth before his eyes, despite having already recognised the faces on his screen. With his static heart stuck in his throat, he blinked the haze out of his vision and licked at his dry lips, then he slowly went through the comment section. He focused his attention on the words he saw, scrolling past the typical screaming fangirls and stopping to read the comments of the few usernames which he recognised.

Surprisingly, he found that the response was overwhelmingly positive and Wonwoo wasn’t entirely sure what to expect anyway but it definitely wasn’t this, not that there was any reason why it couldn’t be, so he decided to let it be.

He had bigger questions on his mind at the moment, so he texted first without much thought, then he felt his phone vibrate with an incoming message while he gathered his things and hugged his friends. The next time he checked his phone he was already on the bus home and feeling quite restless.


End file.
